Beautiful Disaster
by movieholic
Summary: “Christian? Christian! Answer me God damn it!” Shouted Sean, concern thick in his voice as he started to run towards his car.
1. Prologue

**This is not set in any season, I'd probably be taking situations out of each season and placing them all into this story any which way I please…because I can. **

A wail from the bedroom next door roused a slightly hung-over, aggravated Christian Troy from his expensive linen sheets and comfortable soft bed. He raised his head from underneath a feather pillow and glanced at the clock on the nightstand beside him. It pronounced a bright red, four thirty…in the morning.

Christian groaned and allowed his head to hit the pillow with a plop before propping himself onto his elbows and turning himself onto his back. He rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands and ran a hand through his black mussed up hair before sitting up and hopping off the bed towards the insistent cry of Wilbur.

"Shh… shh, Wilbur…s'okay, daddy's here…" murmured Christian as he leaned over the oak wood crib and lifted the groggy toddler out and into his strong arms, cuddling him as he searched around the room for a binkie.

Christian rested Wilbur on his hip, the latter sucking happily on his binkie, as he entered the immense kitchen and placed the young boy in a Boon Flair high chair proudly. Christian made sure Wilbur was secured in the classy high chair before clapping his hands and rushing towards the fridge. 

"What will it be Wilbur? Milk or milk?" asked Christian as he held up two bottles he had pulled from the fridge, "Milk? Well okay, if that's what you want."

Wilbur giggled happily as Christian placed the bottle of milk in front of the content toddler. Christian watched as the tot grabbed the bottle earnestly and proceeded to suck on it. Christian chuckled and returned to the fridge, bent over as he attempted to find some breakfast for himself.

"Hmmm, what to eat what to eat…" whispered Christian aloud as he rifled through the fridge, "Ah ha! A pepper and onion omelet sounds quite appealing to me right now, what do you think Wilbur?" 

Wilbur squealed in reply before returning to his bottle. Christian laughed and pulled a carton of eggs out, placing them on the counter as he reached back into the fridge and grabbed two zip-locked bags full onions and peppers. Christian tossed those on the counter as well before closing the fridge door with his heel.

Christian proceeded to grab a pan plus the ingredients, and in fifteen minutes he flipped the steaming omelet once more then onto his plate. He turned the stove off and pulled a chair up to Wilbur's side, placing the hot plate on the table beside the high chair and out of Wilbur's limited reach.

"Ah uh… don't you try to steal my breakfast buddy, you have your own." Christian growled playfully as he tickled Wilbur's stomach before taking a bite of his delectable 'feast.'

"Mmmm…it's yummy." Christian mumbled as he raised his eyebrows to the staring boy. 

After both Christian and Wilbur had finished eating, Christian cleaned their mess up and plucked Wilbur out of the high chair in order to dress him for their trip to Julia and Sean's.

* * *

Although Christian was juggling Wilbur in one arm and a bag full of Wilbur's things, he managed to knock on the door of the McNamara household.

"Don't worry Wilbur, daddy just has to run a few errands and before you know it, I'll be back to pick you up." 

Wilbur giggled and clapped his hands while Christian, smiling at Wilbur, moved forward to knock on the door again. Before Christian could knock, however, Matt opened the door.

"Hey Uncle Chris, Wilbur." Greeted Matt tiredly as he stepped back to allow them to enter the house.

"Hey Mattie, your mom around?" Christian asked as he placed Wilbur on the carpeted floor. 

Matt shook his head and yawned as he followed Wilbur around with his eyes. Christian removed his red tinted sunglasses on the top of his black, styled hair before taking a seat on the couch comfortably.

"Where'd she go?"

"I don't know." Matt responded, shrugging as he took a seat next to Christian.

Christian nodded his understanding, an annoyed look plastered on his strikingly handsome face. He puffed his cheeks out and pulled at the neck of his red shirt. Matt glanced over at Wilbur and smiled as the baby mumbled to himself while playing with his toys.

"Cute, isn't he?" murmured Christian as he sank back into the couch and spread his legs as all men do.

"Yeah, he is." Matt observed.

The front door slammed shut, startling both men. Julia entered and jumped when she saw them watching her with amusement from the couch. She sighed but immediately laughed when Wilbur held up his arms towards her.

"Hey Wilbur!" Julia exclaimed as she easily picked Wilbur off the floor and hugged him.

"Jules you said you would be he-"Christian started.

"Sorry, Christian. I must've lost track of time." Interrupted Julia as she bounced Wilbur on her hip.

Christian dropped his hand to his side and gave Matt a look as he stood to leave.

"Well thanks again for watching Wilbur. I'll be back around, "Christian glanced at his Rolex watch, "Say five thirtyish or so, okay?"

Julia nodded, accepted Christian peck to her cheek and handed Wilbur to Matt as soon as Christian left.

"Please watch him while I take a shower." Julia demanded as she took off for her bedroom.

* * *

Kimber bounced back onto the linen sheet covered bed, panting. She laughed softly as she swept her blonde hair off of her sweaty forehead whereas Christian slipped under the comforter with a diminutive grunt. After a few minutes the sound of light snoring filled Kimber's ears and she scoffed at Christian's back.

She watched his body moved up and down, up and down as he breathed softly. Kimber reached out and traced his fit back with a long nailed finer, sighing.

"I loved you." She whispered before getting put of his bed to leave.

* * *

At five thirty on the dot, a loud knock at the front door startled Julia out of her sleep. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, carefully sitting up without disturbing Wilbur, who slept peacefully in his foldable play pen. There was another loud knock at the door and Julia finally stood to answer it.

"Oh, come in Christian." Julia said, yawning.

Christian entered the house and immediately made his way to Wilbur's playpen. He gazed down at the sleeping boy with a loving smile before turning around to collect the toys spread about the room. Julia watched from the side, one hand twirling a strand of her blonde hair as she bit her lip.

After Christian had packed everything into Wilbur's bag, he gingerly lifted the dozing toddler from the play pen and cradled him in the crook of his arm securely. Christian nodded his thanks to Julia as he brushed by her, nearly running to his yellow Lamborghini parked in her driveway.

Julia watched him go, admiring the way he had adapted to raising someone else's son. She watched as Christian slammed on the pedal and drove out of the driveway quickly, easily maneuvering the car around the fountain out front.

* * *

Gina Russo paced impatiently in Christian's living room, clutching a scotch in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. She jumped when she heard the door open and closed, watching as Christian carefully carried her son and his things into his home.

Christian's fast paced walking came to a brief halt when he saw Gina, but he continued on to Wilbur's room when he recognized who it was. Gina waited for Christian in the living room as he set Wilbur in his crib. He returned five minutes later rubbing his hands together as he made his way to the bar.

"Hey asshole." Gina greeted him, in her usual demeanor. 

Christian, now realizing what Gina was clutching in her hand, scowled and strode forward quickly. He grabbed her arm holding the cigarette and plucked it out of her hand. He held it in front of her face and snarled, "There is a child in the house and he's not going to get second hand smoke from his whoring mother if I can help it."

Christian tossed the cigarette into her scotch and ignored her protests as he returned to the bar to finish his drink. Gina growled and chucked the glass of scotch across the room, smiling satisfactorily as the glass exploded against Christian's walls. Christian flipped around, noting the glass and the scotched stained walls.

"Christ you dumb bitch! There is a sleeping baby in the next room!" shouted Christian, his face growing red in his anger.

Wilbur's cries reached their ears and Gina rolled her eyes before taking a seat on the nearest couch. Christian scowled before stalking off towards Wilbur's room. He returned with a sleepy, whimpering Wilbur resting his head on his chest as Christian held him tightly.

"What do you want, Gina?" Christian questioned.

After a moment of silence Gina replied coolly, "You."

Christian snorted in contempt before kissing the top of Wilbur's head.

"How about money? Some cab fare?" Christian offered; his blue eyes as icy as his tone.

Gina shook her head furiously before saying, "I want you asshole."

"You're not getting me Gina. Now leave before I call the cops on you."

Gina stood and strode across the room quickly. Christian's glare didn't waver as she met his with her own. She looked at Wilbur then back at Christian before reaching behind Christian and pulling him closer to her, his thigh rubbing against hers.

"You want me too." She whispered.

Christian's breathing hitched, but he regained his control when he remembered he was holding a child. Christian turned on his heel and entered Wilbur's room, placing the young child in his crib and covering him up with his blankets.

Gina, who had followed him with his knowing, started to strip off her black dress she wore. Christian smirked and shook his head before leaving Wilbur's room and closing the door behind them.

Gina reached up and placed her arms around Christian's head, ignoring the way his body tensed up to her touch. She pulled his head towards hers; kissing his soft, pink lips as she ran a hand through his black hair. Although he refused at first, Christian finally stopped resisting and leaned down further in order to pick Gina up.

Christian carried Gina to his bedroom; throwing her onto the bed he had just screwed Kimber earlier that day. Knowing words were useless at this point, the two settled for touching each others bodies, throwing clothes to the floor and fervent kissing. Gina groaned as Christian immediately thrust into her quickly, he continued thrusting, not even giving her the chance to adjust.

Approximately twenty minutes later Christian and Gina lay on their backs out of breath, Gina shifted over until she had managed to rest her head on Christian's chest without his knowledge. Christian wrapped his arm around her and fell asleep without giving anything else much thought.

* * *

TBC...


	2. Enmity

**Very angsty stuff... and more to come. **

_"Psst, come here boy…come here, I wanna show you something." The voice was thick from alcohol, and gruff from years of smoking._

_The young boy looked up from his homework at the kitchen table. He glanced at the older man nervously, but continued working on his homework. The man leaned forward in his recliner and shouted, "I said get your ass o'er here now!" _

_The boy jumped, scared. He stood up carefully from the table and shook his head slowly, causing his thick brown hair to fall in front of his empty blue eyes. The man suddenly stood and struck the boy, screaming obscenities at him while spit flew from his mouth._

_While the young boy lay shaking on the floor clutching his face in pain, the older man started to unzip his pants. The boy tried to shift himself back in refusal, but the man overpowered him instantly and forced himself onto the young child._

_"Mr. Troy no! Stop! Please stop!" sobbed the kid._

"No…stop…_please_ stop…" moaned Christian in his sleep, whipping his arms and legs around on the bed.

Gina watched him intently, wondering what he could possibly be dreaming about that could cause him so much pain. She knew it had to do with pain, all one had to do was look at his face contorted in the expression right now.

Gina was suddenly startled when Christian sat up promptly, gasping for air, his wide blue eyes darting around rapidly, while his black hair was plastered to his pale face. He took a few experienced deep breaths, as if this happened often.

"That happen often?" wondered Gina.

Christian snorted and rubbed his eyes roughly before answering with a yawn, "Yeah."

"Mind telling me what you're dreaming about?"

"None of your business, sweetheart." Christian retorted as he quickly hopped out of the bed.

Gina shrugged as if the remark did not't faze her while Christian pulled some pants on, going commando. He made his way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where a breakfast was already laid out for him. He looked at Gina with a raised eyebrow.

"I felt like cooking, so eat it."

Christian shrugged and took a seat, grabbing a fork and digging into the food. He chewed on it slowly, savoring the taste. He shrugged and said, "Its okay."

Gina sat opposite of him, not wanting to look into his eyes. Christian glanced up then back at his food, before looking up again and asking, "Where's Wilbur? I don't hear him."

"He's at," she coughed," A friend of mines. I thought we could spend some time together or something."

Christian swallowed the food in his mouth, nearly choking,and looked at her in disbelief.

"What friend?" he asked angrily.

"Some guy I met at my sex addicts' anonymous meeting last week." Reassured Gina, placing her hand on top of his she added, "Now we can spend time together."

Christian pulled his hand back in disgust and stood up angrily. He headed off to his room and started to change into some clean clothing quickly as Gina watched from the doorway.

"What the hells the problem?"

"You, you dumb bitch! How dare you send my son of to some strangers house… that you met at you sex addicts' meeting no less!" shouted Christian furiously as he tugged on his shirt.

"First off, he's not _your_ son Christian!" 

"Screw you, you fucking whore!" shouted Christian as stormed out of the bedroom and across the kitchen to grab his car keys.

"I know you certainly have, as well as the man watching Wilbur…" taunted Gina, trying to get Christian riled up further for the sheer joy of it.

Christian whirled around and grabbed Gina by her arm spitefully, hauling her closer to him as he ignored her painful yelp. He shoved her ahead of him and out the front door.

"You better take me to his place now." He growled as he continued to pull her along roughly to the parking lot.

* * *

Gina, after much 'coaxing' from an infuriated Christian, finally divulged the whereabouts of Wilbur. Christian drove speedily towards the address, cursing to himself as they continued to pick up speed. When they arrived at the address Christian pulled up at the house and exited the car, not bothering to shut the engine off or shut the door.

Christian practically sprinted to the front door, and without knocking, flung it open. He heard Wilbur's cries and followed them to a faintly lit bedroom where Gina's friend was busy screwing a young woman. Christian grabbed Wilbur out of the crudely made crib and stormed back out of the house without so much as a word to anyone.

He placed Wilbur in the car seat he had installed in the backseat, jumped back into the car and gunned the gas, speeding down the road ignoring Gina's protests at his speed.

* * *

A half hour later Christian managed to put Wilbur to sleep and was currently in a heated argument with Gina in his bedroom. Gina flung all of her overnight items into a duffel bag as Christian paced back and forth angrily.

"Do you even care about Wilbur? What the hell is wrong with you? Leaving a defenseless baby with a man you don't even know!" 

"Why do you even care? He's not your son! Don't you get it? He is not you God damn son Christian! And you're not his father!" 

Christian grabbed Gina's wrist and forced her to look at him.

"I'm more of a father to that child than anyone will ever be." Christian snarled quietly, his face close to Gina's.

"That doesn't't _make_ you his father Christian! I'm taking Wilbur, and we're going to go see his father, his _real_ father…maybe he'll want to spend some time with me." She hissed heatedly.

Christian let go off her wrist, his mouth opened and his eyebrows furrowed in distress. Gina flung the bag over her shoulder with a smirk as she exited the bedroom towards Wilbur's room.

"Gina, wait. You can't take Wilbur from me. Gina… Gina!" Christian barked, trying to get the blondes''s attention.

"Christian get your God damn hands off of me! You ever touch me or come near Wilbur again I swear to God I'll get a restraining order against you." 

Christian stood shocked. A hurt look passed over his face as he watched Gina slam the door shut, taking Wilbur with her.

* * *

TBC...


	3. Wasted Part I

Sean McNamara entered the hopping bar with one goal in mind, find his most likely wasted, best friend. He scanned the dark bar before moving forward, into the horrifying depths of grinding, bumping, and humping adolescents. He managed to make it to the actual bar itself and looked down at the row, looking for the man who'd be wearing the most expensive outfit and hitting on a woman.

Sean shook his head and looked once more before deciding that Christian must've left instead of waiting for his friend to come over and comfort him. 

"Damn it!" cursed Sean when a young man tripped and spilled his beer down the front of Sean's shirt.

"Sorry dude!" shouted the teen over the thumping bass of the music before taking off.

Sean sighed and picked his way to the men's room. He pushed the door open and twisting the knob to start the water. He grabbed a bunch of paper towels and proceeded to dab at the beer stain in his shirt when his cell phone started to vibrate in his pocket, causing him to jump.

"Sean McNamara." He answered after fishing the phone out of his jacket pocket.

"Hey, Sean, it's C-Christian. I forgot to let you, you know that I decided to leave…, a slight hiccup, his voice slurred,"I couldn't handle all of the kids there, you, you know?"

"Christian where are you? You're not driving are you?" shouted Sean, a finger in his ear as he tried to talk to his drunk friend over the pounding music.

"Of course I'm driving, you think I-I'm gonna walk to my house? That's a _long_ walk Sean." Christian responded with a chuckle.

"Christian, you should pull over now and tell me where you are. I'll pick you up and take you home, you shouldn't be driving right now." Sean nagged as he made his way out of the suffocating bar.

"Aw come on _dad_, stop being sucha..sucha whiner. Don't worry about me I'll be f-"the sound of screeching tires, blaring horns and metal against metal filled Sean's ears as he held the phone away from it.

"Christian? Christian! Answer me God damn it!" Shouted Sean, concern thick in his voice as he started to run towards his car.

* * *

TBC..


	4. Wasted Part II

Christian Troy examined the glass of his scotch. He shrugged and downed the rest of it, grimacing as the amber liquid burned his throat. He held up his hand at the bartender and said, "Martini this time, shaken, not stirred."

The bartender nodded, hesitant at first. The young bartender wasn't sure if the older man had already had enough the minute he stumbled into the packed bar, seemingly already on a buzz. The bartender didn't deny the man his drinks though, the more he ordered the more the bartender made…so he kept serving it up.

"Thanks." Christian lisped, his words slurred as he held up the martini and nodded his appreciativeness. 

"No problem sir." Responded the bartender with a wink, grinning.

Christian finished the martini quickly, and glanced at his watch. He rubbed his temples, a pounding headache already started. He stood, paid the bartender and stumbled towards the exit. As soon as he found himself outside he took a deep breath of refreshing air, smokeless air.

The tall buildings and lights whizzed by as Christian sped home, he growled angrily to himself. _Damn it Gina! Taking my kid away from me! Stupid whore…_

Christian was already halfway home when he realized Sean was going to go to the bar and realize he wasn't there. Christian patted his pockets and found his cell phone on the passenger seat. He dropped it twice, causing the car to swerve before he was able to call Sean.

"Sean McNamara." answered Sean, slightly out of breath.

"Hey, Sean, it's C-Christian. I forgot to let you, you know that I decided to leave…," a slight hiccup, his voice slurred,"I couldn't handle all of the kids there, you, you know?"

"Christian where are you? You're not driving are you?" shouted Sean, Christian could hear the pounding music in the background.

"Of course I'm driving, you think I-I'm gonna walk to my house? That's a _long_ walk Sean." Christian responded with a chuckle.

"Christian, you should pull over now and tell me where you are. I'll pick you up and take you home, you shouldn't be driving right now." Sean nagged.

"Aw come on dad, stop being sucha, sucha whiner. Don't worry about me I'll be f-"suddenly Christian was slammed into the steering wheel causing the air bag to deploy and slam him back into his seat, him not having wearing his seatbelt in his drunken state.

"Christian? Christian! Answer me God damn it!" Shouted Sean faintly, concern thick in his voice.

* * *

         TBC...


	5. Vehicular Tragedy

I am currently using wordpad again, and wordpad does not have spell check or anything like that so please bare with me and try to ignore the spelling and grammer mistakes until I get Microsoft word working again.

* * *

Sean heard the sirens as he honed in on Christian's location. As he slowed down he gasped when he saw what he assumed was left of Christian's car, and nearly passed out when he realized that Christian was still _in_ the totaled vehicle. Sean pulled the car over to the nearest curb and jumped out of the car without turning the engine off or shutting the door in his haste to get to his best friend's side. Sean finally reached the driver's side door but he hesitated, rubbing his temples as he pondered whether he should move Christian or attempt to aid him from the car.

"Christian can you hear me?" he called out before realizing the door was closed. Sean grabbed hold off the mutilated car door handle with both hands and tugged as hard as he could, after a long strenuous battle Sean finally won and was able to tug the door open.

Sean knelt on the black pavement and called out, "Christian? Hey, Christian, can you hear me?"

There was no sound from the unconscious black haired man as Sean watched him helplessly. Sean reached in and touched Christian's shoulder very lightly, trying to rouse the other man awake. After some light prodding and silent muttering from Sean, Christian's eyes fluttered open slowly. Sean sighed with relief and shifted in his uncomfortable crouching stance.

"Christian? Can you look at me please?"

"What's...what's going on?" Christian asked, trying to move from his pinned posistion in the car.

"Whoa, don't move, okay?" Sean asked as he held out an unsteady hand to gently push Christian back down.

"Sean?" Christian mumbled seemingly incoherent as his blue eyes rolled upwards and he swallowed repeatedly.

"Just wait Christian, the cops are here. The ambulance will be here soon too, alright? Then we can take you to the hospital and fix you up as good as new." Sean whispered, tears rolling down his red face as he was tugged away by an officer. Another officer took Sean's place, crouching so he was eye level with Christian before he whipped out a pen light and started to shine it in Christian's eyes. Sean watched from a distance, waiting impatiently for the arrival of the ambulance.

After twenty strained, tense minutes of pacing and muttering the ambualnce finally screeched to a halt in front of the wreckage. Sean sighed before jogging over to the Paramedic, trying to lead him to Christian. The two Paramedics did not hesitate when they reached Christian, immediatly pulling on gloves and firing questions at the barely conscious, injured man.

"Where are you hurt? Do you feel this? Can you see how many fingers I am holding up?" they shouted over the wailing sirens and the now gathering crowd in the dead of night.

Christian nodded his answers, grimacing in pain as he struggled in a lame attempt to escape from the metal contraption. Sean watched them intently, trying to assess what position Christian was really in. Sean circled the two steaming cars repeatedly, noting that Christian was pinned behind the wheel by the wheel itself and that the other car had rammed at full speed right into the front of Christian's car...or vice versa. The impact of the crash had shoved the steering wheel backwards and against Christian's chest. Sean thanked God that the crash hadn't killed Christian, but he knew that if they didn't do something fast that it could in fact still happen.

They Paramedics discussed something in private before calling over an officer, all pointing and muttering about the front of the car. The officer nodded before pulling out his walkie-talkie and asking for the nearest fire department to get there faster. No sooner had he finished a red fire truck annouced its arrival by blaring its horn loudly. Firefighters piled out and towards the Paramedics and officers. They discussed some more before the firefighters set to work on freeing Christian. Sean watched teary eyed, before glancing over into the other car. The other set of Paramedics that had exited the second ambulance were trying to revive the other crash victim but to no avail. Sean looked away and ran a hand through his thinning brown hair.

* * *

TBC...


	6. Hospital

The only words that managed to pass through the 'cotton' in Sean McNamara's ears were, "Crashing…shock…flat lining…" as the ambulance sailed through the streets of Miami. Sean mustered enough courage to look at Christian once, but the sickly pale colored skin, and the uncontrollable rolling of his jade blue eyes made Sean's stomach turn nastily.

"Dr. McNamara could you please apply pressure to this wound?" a youthful Paramedic shouted over the wailing siren as they continued speedy dangerously towards the hospital. Sean nodded numbly as he pressed gauze padding on Christian's crimson stained chest, tears flowing down his face and onto Christian unintentionally.

* * *

Sean sat on a blue plastic chair, his trembling hands clasped together in front of him, his legs spread. Various people stared at his deranged looking state, gaping at the blood that stained his shirt and hands, even his face.

Matt, Julia and Annie suddenly burst into the hospital, skidding to a stop in front of Sean. Julia immediately sobbed and fell to her knees, clutching Sean like a child. Matt looked away and returned his little sister's clingy hug as he tried to brush away the tears gathering in his eyes.

"Is he…?" asked Matt softly.

"He's in surgery, collapsed lung or something…from the impact,"rambled Sean softly, his eyes unfocused as he stared straight ahead.

Julia sighed with relief upon hearing Christian was still alive, but didn't make a move to let go of Sean's leg as Matt sat on another plastic chair, Annie on his lap.

"He was drunk…Gina took Wilbur and left and Christian couldn't handle it so he got hammered and…" Sean continued his soft rambling, emotion thick in his voice.

Matt grasped his father's shoulder and rocked him back and forth reassuringly, "He'll be fine dad."

Sean nodded absent of mind, he felt numb all over. He just wanted to hold Christian, he wanted to see Christian's bright white, toothed smile, hear some of his sarcastic remarks, hell Sean wouldn't mind walking in on Christian banging another woman so long as it meant he was alive.

"He's my brother," Sean whispered out loud.

Matt cast his father a sideways glance, praying that his _other_ father would pull through. Annie sniffled as she burrowed her head into Matt's chest, wrapping her arms around his neck as he hugged her tightly. Matt looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.

* * *

Dr. John Russet stood watching the small family for a few minutes before slowly making his way to them. They all appeared to be asleep uncomfortably, one on the floor clutching the older man's leg who sat on a hard plastic chair, while the young girl was curled up in the lap of what Dr. Russet assumed was her older brother.

He coughed softly before tapping the older man's shoulder gently. The man jumped up startled, his blue eyes bright red.

"Yes? Is Christian okay? Is everything okay?" he pleaded, causing the others around him to wake.

"Dr. Sean McNamara, yes?"

"Yes, yes…is he alright?" Sean demanded, nearly hysterical.

"Dr. Troy is out of surgery, he was having trouble breathing but we have him on an oxygen mask now. Other then some minor contusions here and there, and the obvious collapsed lung, Dr. Troy should be fine."

Sean let out a relieved sigh, rubbing his temples. Julia and Matt let out their own sighs of relief while on Annie's face there was a beaming smile..

"So Uncle Chris is okay?" she asked.

"Yes, honey, he will be better soon." Julia answered simply, wiping away tears from her face as she stood up from the floor.

* * *

Christian gazed up at the bland ceiling of his hospital room, ignoring the sound of his blood rushing in his ears and the pulsing beat of his heart in his head. Christian squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could rip off the oxygen mask he wore to assist his breathing.

A light knock at the door caused him to jump before he called out hoarsely, "Come in."

Sean entered the room hesitantly with Julia in tow, both trying to wipe off any evidence of them crying. Christian managed to smile as if he was never in a near death experience.

"Sean, Julia I-" he started but was cut off by an emotional Sean.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you Christian?" he barked underneath his breath loud enough for Julia and Christian to hear, but not anyone else outside the dark room.

"Sean I'm-" he tried again.

"No! You could have been killed! I could have lost the practice, Matt his father…Annie would, God she would have been so upset…but me…I would have been destroyed, you're my brother Christian! My _best_ friend!" Sean continued, now pacing.

Julia nodded understandably, agreeing with Sean in everything he was saying. Christian looked away ashamed, his face flushed and pale. He looked so vulnerable it caused Julia to cry again.

"Jules…" Christian called out softly, his voice still gruff.

Julia darted forward and gathered Christian into an uncomfortable hug, planting a kiss onto his cheek, ignoring the mask that covered most of it. Then she smacked Christian on the shoulder hard, a small sob escaping her lips. Christian, eyes full of unshed tears, furrowed his eyebrows.

"Damn it Christian, what the hell _were_ you thinking?" she exclaimed.

Christian held up his arms weakly to fend off any other blows, managing to say, "I was thinking how could Gina took my baby boy…how I'm incapable of loving anyone but myself… and what the _hell_ do I have to live for? After the sixth or seventh drink I wasn't anymore."

Julia and Sean watched him intently, tears streaming down their faces as they both watched Christian look away, a sob caught in his throat. A single tear rolled down Christian's face as he finally allowed himself to break down, he brought his shaking hands up to his face and sobbed freely while Julia darted forward again and held him. Sean stood by the door; a hand up to his mouth while his back was turned on the others.

* * *

TBC...


	7. Suicidal?

Christian had cried himself to sleep in Julia's loving arms, the latter stroking his thick dark hair as if he was a child ailing from a stomach virus. Sean had watched for a few minutes before shaking his head roughly and sneaking out of the room.

Julia sighed and kissed the top of Christian's head as he slept fitfully, his forehead creased in anxiety and worry, possibly pain. Julia stood and upped the morphine a tad before shuffling to the side of Christian's bed and pulling the hospital blanket up towards his chin. She smiled down warmly at him as he continued to sleep like an angel.

"Christian…" she sighed, wiping her eyes with a slender finger.

He mumbled and shifted in his sleep, causing Julia to smile again before she turned and exited the room in search of Sean and the children.

"Mom, is Uncle Chris alright?" Annie asked as she yawned, stepping away from the plastic chairs and into Julia's open arms.

"He'll be fine sweetheart." Julia murmured before placing a peck on Annie's head. Annie gave her a half smile before scuffling towards the chairs again and taking a seat.

"Why don't you take the kids home and get some sleep, Julia?" Sean asked, exhausted.

"Are you sure…?" she interjected weakly.

Sean held up a hand to stop her and shook his head slowly, a small smile on his lips, "I'm sure, Jules, I'll call you if anything happens, okay?"

Julia nodded and motioned at Matt and Annie to follow her out of the hospital, turning back to face Sean as she left with a rueful grin on her tear stained face.

* * *

Christian muttered something incoherently, before sitting up out of breath, a shot of pain ripping through his body. Christian gasped and sat stock still, afraid to move in fear of feeling that excruciating pain again.

"Christian?"

"Hey, Sean." Muttered Christian through clenched teeth.

"Are you alright? You look a bit pale." Sean pointed out as he inched closer to Christian's side.

"Fine." Came the short reply.

"Christian…" Sean started, his voice turning into the fatherly one he used on his children when they lied to him.

"I sat up too quickly, had a nightmare…Christ I'm in _pain_, Sean!" he started out quietly and quickly, before shouting as the pain became unbearable.

Sean jumped at Christian's raw tone before turning to look at the machine. He opened the box and upped the morphine.

"There, should kick in soon." Sean said simply, dipping his head once.

Christian let out a strangled sigh before easing himself down and onto his back again. Sean turned to leave but Christian's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

"Wait…can you, stay?" he asked softly.

"Of course." Sean said, eyebrows furrowed in concern at Christian's pale color.

Christian nodded his appreciation, letting go of Sean's wrist.

Sean watched Christian close his eyes and sigh, the pain subsiding. Christian smirked, before opening his eyes and looking at Sean directly.

"Thanks."

Sean shrugged, "It's nothing, really. Anything you need Christian, I'm here…hell Matt, Julia, _even_ Annie…we're here for you."

Christian chuckled along with Sean, both finally at ease until the room was filled with another uncomfortable silence. Christian cleared his throat as he looked about the room, Sean tapping his fingers against the railing of the bed as he too looked about the room. Finally Sean sighed and asked, "What are you going to do when you're release?"

Christian groaned inwardly but physically shrugged.

"Go home, go to work, and screw some hot piece of ass… whether _that_ be at home or work is not up to me…" Christian kid, half serious though.

Sean pretended to be stern, but couldn't help but smirk at his best friend's innocent, boyish expression. Christian grinned lazily, the morphine making him somewhat tired. Sean patted Christian's shoulder in a friendly way before becoming serious again.

"Really? I don't know." Christian continued, talking more to himself than Sean.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" Sean asked quietly.

"Mean what?"

"That you were thinking how you had nothing to live for…you're incapable of loving anyone but yourself…so on and so forth."

Christian winced at the words, the unpleasant memory returning to his slightly foggy brain. Sean frowned at the reaction.

Christian looked at Sean and scowled, "Don't look at me like I'm suicidal, Sean."

"How should I look then? You practically _were_ suicidal!" Sean argued, clearly upset at the moment.

"No, I _wasn't_…I just wanted to feel…nothing. I didn't want feel anything, no pain, heartache, loneliness just for _one_ God damn night, Sean." Christian went on, his voice becoming hoarse and raw from trying to prevent the tears to spill over again.

Sean squeezed his eyes shut and sighed, "Christian-"

"Sean, you should go…please." Begged Christian gently, his half lidded eyes averted towards the door.

Sean nodded after a moment, patted Christian's knee and replied with a thick, "Okay," before leaving Christian alone in the dark hospital room.

* * *

TBC...

PLEASE REVIEW, I BEG OF YOU, REVIEW!


	8. Coping

Christian's breath lingered In the morning air as he jogged through the vacant park, the only sound he could hear was the pounding of his feet on the slick pavement and his heavy breathing.

Christian finally slowed to a walking pace till he came to a complete stop, resting his hand on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath. After a few moments Christian resumed walking, running a hand through his thick, short hair out of habit.

Christian surveyed his surroundings as he continued walking through the seemingly empty park, the singing of birds and the cool light breeze that ruffled his hair while the sun beamed down warmly on Christian made him grin. Who would have though Christian Troy to be soft when he came to nature?

The sudden ringing of Christian's cell phone caused him to stop and search the pockets of his shorts quickly. Finally grasping it, he brought it up to his ear and quipped, "Troy."

"Christian, it's Sean."

Christian sighed and resumed his walk, the cell phone pressed against his forehead firmly.

"Just calling to check up on you, doctor's orders." Sean chuckled but Christian scowled, though he knew Sean couldn't see it.

"So how are you?" Sean pressed uncomfortably when Christian didn't laugh.

"I'm in the middle of a jog." Christian explained shortly.

"That's good, that's good…remember that you shouldn't over exercise yourself since-"

"Since I technically have one lung because the other one is a useless piece of shit now…I know Sean." Christian interrupted.

"Just making sure…" he trailed off.

Christian stopped and placed a hand on his forehead, the beginnings of a headache thumping at his head tortuously.

Sighing Christian said, "I'm fine Sean...I'm coping..." letting his hand drop to his side.

"_Alright_, call you later." Sean said softly before hanging up.

Christian exhaled slowly as he placed the cell phone back into his short's pocket. He looked up at the brightening blue sky, and then shook his head roughly, before he started jogging along the path again.

* * *

Christian, after taking a long and cold shower, toweled his head off as he poured himself yet another drink, he already had a good buzz going on why not go all the way?

Christian downed the drink in one gulp, the burning liquid warming his stomach and making him feel less and less…the way he wanted to feel…nothing. Christian poured yet another, downing that too in a single gulp. He shook his head and sat down on the couch, the room spinning ever so slightly.

Christian stared at the ceiling and grinned stupidly, he was going nowhere in his life and he knew it since day one…the crash was just a giant reminder that he would have rather been without. Christian sipped from the glass, after pouring himself _yet _another glass full, and sighed. His eyes fluttered as he struggled to fight the alcohol induced sleep that threatened him.

Christian stood and made his way to his bedroom, the wall supporting him as he staggered. He tripped and cursed, glancing down at the object. A sob caught in his throat when he realized he had tripped over Wilbur's dinosaur pillow, Christian leaned down slowly and grasped it tightly in his hand. He held it to his face and whispered into it, his tears soaking the toddler's pillow.

Christian topped off the drink and allowed it to slip from his hands, the sound of shattering glass making him smirk. He ignored the fiery pain of glass that embedded itself in his skin as he fell to the ground, leaning his back against the wall while he sobbed into Wilbur's pillow. Christian struggled to breath, swallowing repeatedly, as he continued to sob…heaving before he finally passed out against the wall on the cold, un-wanting floor.

* * *

Christian slowly made his way down the hall of McNamara/Troy, the blinding lights causing his head to explode in pain while his migraine pounded against his skull unmercifully. Christian removed his red tinted sunglasses from his hair and placed them back onto his face, realizing that it wasn't just the sun that was bright.

"Christian? Welcome back!" exclaimed Liz, looking up from a clipboard.

"Liz…" he greeted exhaustedly.

"You look like shit."

Christian, who normally would have gave a smart-ass remark such as, "So do _you_, and you weren't even in a car accident," shrugged and continued his slow trek down the hall towards the break room. Fact of the matter was that Christian _knew_ he looked like shit. His usually styled was mussed up, though he knew that it still attracted women by their flirty smiles, he had dark circles under his eyes and his face seemed flushed.

Liz frowned at his back, fully expecting the hurtful, smart aleck remark. She shook her head and returned her gaze to the clipboard muttering, "Must still be sick."

Christian strode into the break room and immediately went for the fridge, groping for a refreshing bottle of water to quell his throbbing migraine and pulling a prescription bottle of pills from his the inside of his jacket pocket, popping two pills and swallowing so much water that he needed a second to get over the pain in his throat.

Christian scowled and massaged his temples as he made his way towards the couch; he needed a moment to relax himself. Sean walked in briskly, reading a newspaper so intently that he didn't notice Christian dozing off on the couch. Sean took a seat at the table and proceeded to eat a Yoplait that he had grabbed from the fridge.

Christian smirked and softly called out to Sean, "What did I tell you about touching my Yoplait?"

Sean jumped and whirled around, a guilty look etched into his scared expression. He wiped at his mouth and placed the paper onto the table.

"Christ Christian, give me a heart attack why don't you?"

"Careful Sean, you're forty years old…a heart attack is bound to happen."

"I'm a doctor, Christian, I'm pretty sure I can prevent a heart attack."

Christian chuckled before groaning slightly, Sean looked over at him concerned. Christian opened one eye and waved his hand, "Alcohol induced migraine… I'll be fine."

"Christian…you shouldn't be drinking again…especially so soon after an accident." Sean lectured standing, making his way over to the drowsy looking Christian.

"Have you been sleeping at all? You look like shit."

Christian laughed, "People seem to think that a lot lately."

"Have you been sleeping at all?" Sean demanded.

"Sure I have…after a few beers and hard liquor I'm out like a light." Christian retorted with a small smile, eyes closed.

"Christian talk to me…we really need to talk and get your feelings out…"

"I'm not a fag Sean…" Christian mumbled.

"Christian, I didn't say that… talking about your feelings doesn't make you homosexual. You just need to relax, and let go. Have you been drinking a lot? Where do you sleep? Have you been screwing around a lot? Christian you need to-"

"Yes…wherever I pass out and no! Happy? Please just leave me alone, I don't want to talk about Wilbur!" Christian interrupted, shouting.

Sean remained silent…"So this is about Wilbur?"

"Wasn't it always? Led to the wreck…"

"Is it _all_ about Wilbur? Or is there more to it?" Sean probed.

"It may have to do with my foster father molesting me as a kid which gives me nightmares…my mother throwing me out of her life, which gives me nightmares…Gina taking away my son, nightmares…the fact that the woman I _love_ is with the man I love, which equals hopes and dreams crushed…" Christian droned on, trying to make a joke off it but to no avail.

"The _man_ you love?"

"Yeah, not in a queer way, no _way_ man…in a brotherly way…" Christian trailed off and looked away, having said too much.

"Julia, isn't it? You love Julia…" murmured Sean after a long silence ensued.

"Resulted in Matt didn't it?" Christian quipped, but felt ashamed when he saw Sean's hurt expression.

"_Shit_…I'm sorry Sean, I crossed the line…I'm _sorry_."

Sean nodded and whispered, "S'okay, Christian…we are talking about you not me."

"I'm done talking about me…so how's life?" Christian tried changing the subject.

"Not having it Christian, you need help."

Christian shook his head profusely, "Last time I sought psychiatric help I wound up screwing her over her desk…and she tried to feed me some bullshit that I was gay."

Sean raised an eyebrow and cocked his head.

"We're talking tomorrow, okay? I have to go to a consult."

"I'll join you."

"Are you sure, you might scare them away."

"They can kiss my ass…so can you…"

Sean laughed and opened the door to his office.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Sean McNamara this is my partner Dr. Christian Troy." He said as he made his way to the table, Christian tailing him.

The chair whirled around to face the men; a woman clutching a sleeping toddler leered at them, the toddler had a huge scabbed gash on his forehead to his chin, "Hello asshole."

Sean and Christian looked at each other opened mouth, Christian's shock turning into anger and concern. He jumped from his seat and stormed over to the woman.

"What the hell did you do? Hand him over, Gina!"

* * *

TBC...


	9. Wilbur Troy

"I didn't do _shit_, so don't accuse me…he fell off the changing table and hit his head on the ground. I want you to fix him."

"I'll fix him, not for _you_ though, for _him_. Then you'll leave Wilbur with me, leave the state and never show your STD infected ass around here again, understand?"

"Or what, Christian?"

"He'll report you to the police for child negligence." Chimed in Sean, looking furious as he stood and joined Christian's side, "Hand over Wilbur, _now_."

Gina swallowed a few times, trying to hold her angry and mad demeanor, but she finally melted under the withering glares of the two men. She held Wilbur up to Christian, who gathered the boy up tightly. She smiled softly and whispered, "Okay, just help him…"

Christian turned on his heel and strode out of the room, eager to help his son. Sean glared once more at Gina and bit off icily, "Leave all of Wilbur's things here and _never_ show your face again, Gina."

"Sean, I'm his mother, you can't tell-"

"I can tell you one thing Gina, Christian is a better parent to that boy than you are or will _ever_ be! And I'm assuming you didn't hear about the accident you caused? Taking Wilbur away from Christian nearly cost Christian his _life_! God Gina, if it had been worst I would have _**hunted**_ **you down**…" Sean threatened, quietly but heatedly.

Gina cleared her throat and stood, "I'll bring Wilbur's things and leave."

* * *

"Its not time to make a change,  
Just relax, take it easy.  
You're still young, thats your fault,  
There's so much you have to know.  
Find a girl, settle down,  
If you want you can marry…."

"Hey Wilbur…hey buddy…how you been? Daddy's missed you _so_ much…" Christian looked away as he whispered, a sob caught in his throat, "Don't worry, honey. Daddy's going to make everything better."

Christian leaned over the operating table and kissed the sleeping toddler on his head, listening to the soft music floating in the background as he gazed lovingly at his son…the dark curly hair framing his cherub face as he lie on the giant table, so small and innocent. Christian sighed and held out a hand towards Linda, "15 blade please."

Nurse Linda and Liz watched Christian as he began the surgery on his son, the music bringing tears to their eyes as they watched Christian operate, his face calm, but the emotion clearly bubbling underneath.

* * *

Christian rubbed his bleary eyes roughly with the palms of his large, skillful hands as he sat with his legs spread in an ungentlemanly fashion. He glanced at his watch, realizing it was well past one in the morning. He groaned and willed himself to stand, but he was so exhausted. Sean trotted in and glanced at his beat partner with a sympathetic smile.

"Christian, go home and sleep." He said quietly.

Christian, eyes squeezed shut, waved his hand and said, "Nonsense Sean, I'll be bushy tailed and bright eyed in sec…just give me a few minutes."

Sean laughed to himself at the tripping comment, ignoring the fact that Christian said seconds then asked for minutes. He shrugged and snuck away to use the restroom, knowing full well when he returned Christian would be passed out on the break room couch.

When Sean returned he was shocked to see Christian wasn't there. Wanting to make sure Christian wasn't getting himself into trouble from sheer exhaustion, Sean searched the McNamara/Troy building. He finally came to stop at Wilbur's patient door and he smiled to himself, _Of course._

He opened the door slowly and peeked in, his suspicions confirmed when he saw Christian sleeping soundly in Wilbur's bed, the infant's head resting on his father's chest comfortably as they both slept on. Sean chuckled when he saw Christian was still in his work clothing, lab coat and all, and his shoes were still on.

"Love you two, sleep tight." He whispered as he backed out and closed the door.

* * *

**The End**


End file.
